Many myths are associated with dating across races. If you are black and are dating a white, then you are most certainly a gold-digger. It does not matter if you are a single men or woman. You are a gold-digger, period.
If you are a white girl dating a black man, then you are running away from the white men that are apparently not as well endowed as the blacks. Not my words, those are the stereotypes associated with interracial dating across races. Are they true, however? Is there a difference between black and white men? Women? Who is preferable? We find out from people dating across races. Writes DIANA NABIRUMA
Juma and Sharon met in June 2005 in Jinja. Sharon was on a tour of East and South Africa and while in Uganda, she went water rafting with meet friends. And guess who their guide was? Juma Kalikwani. They talked a bit and thereafter Sharon travelled to Zambia, and then South Africa.
Juma’s and Sharon’s paths would cross once again when Juma travelled to Zambia. Sharon organised herself quickly and hightailed it back to Zambia to spend six weeks with Juma. They spent the 2005 Christmas together instead of their respective families. Cupid’s arrow had sure hit hard.
In February 2006, Sharon came to Uganda to see Juma and when Juma travelled to France in June, Sharon went to see him. Eventually, Sharon came to Uganda and settled down with Juma. Are they married? No, but they plan to get married. Do they feel that there are differences between dating from their own races and across races?
Sharon says it is difficult to compare life in Uganda and that in England. She says that perhaps if she were to be measured by Ugandan standards, she is not a good wife because she does not always cook or wash Juma’s jeans.
But Juma tells of differences. He says that when you are dating a black girl and you are black, everyone respects you, since they think you pick the bills. When you are dating a white woman, however, it is a different story. No one thinks anything you own is yours, and the girls will not come to meet friends within ten yards of you as they conclude that you do not have money.
At this point, Juma and Sharon dispel the notion that when you date a white person, “oba watuuka”- you have literally arrived. White people tend to think fairness in interracial dating relationships. If it comes to expenditure, they prefer to share the bills equally.
Speaking of differences between black and white, Juma says that Whites are more open and less submissive. They want to discuss issues affecting relationships and will not be bullied into keeping quiet.
Who would they rather date? Someone from their race or across races? Race does not matter for both of them. It is the person’s character that does. But now I have to add that when you date or do match making across races, be prepared for some cultural shocks. Juma has been to England twice to see Sharon’s parents.
The first time he visited, they were shocked to see that he was not dressed in bark cloth or animal skin. They were awed by his normalcy. And this was in 2007!
Prior to visiting their daughter in September, Sharon’s parents believed that she was living in some village hut with no water and electricity.
But with time the couple adapts to each other’s cultures and also get acceptance from their communities. In fact, Sharon today calls herself Mukyala Kalikwani. Not Mrs! That’s how far they have come.
Grace Nakimera and Andre Ringen
Songstress Grace Nakimera is married to Andre Ringen and they have a child. Andre is Norwegian.
The couple met at work. Andre, a photographer, needed a model that could pose as if she was doing yoga, and only Grace could muster those poses.
She went, posed for him, and he liked more than her poses. He invited her out for a drink. They went to a French restaurant which used to stand where Pyramids Casino is today. Grace says she was floored because he looked so neat in his white shirt and his hair was combed well.
They dated for two years and got married, and have been together for two and half years.
Is she with him for the money? No, she is an independent woman with her own money. Of course some people throw dirty looks at her, thinking she is a gold-digger, but it is the single men she wants, not his money.
What are the differences between dating black and white? There are no big differences.
Who would she rather date? Black or white? She says colour does not matter. It is the person’s character that does.
Cindy Sanyu and Mario Brunetti
Cindy and Mario have been dating for four years. They are engaged. They met at Kampala Casino. Cindy’s big sister was having dinner with her white boyfriend and they invited her to it. They also invited Mario. The chemistry between Cindy and Mario was great and they have been together since.
What are the differences between black men and white ones, as far as Cindy is concerned? She says it is really small. Whites are more upfront and more emotionally open. Sexually too, they are more open. They are more romantic, sensual and free-spirited than their black counterparts. They are more focused too. If they want match making marriage, then they want marriage, and if they want a divorce, then you won’t dissuade them from it.
However, they are like black men sometimes, especially when it comes to ego. At home, they want to be the boss. Cindy admits that she has met people who think she is in it for the money. But she is not.
“When we met, we used to make the same amount of money, but now he makes more than I do,” Cindy says, and adds: “Whites are not as easy with their money as people think. Why do people think they are ATM cards or something?”
Between black and white, who is better? Race does not matter for Cindy. Even if someone was green and they had the character she wanted, she would go for them.
source::observer.ug
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